I'm Going to Be Famous by Tom Birdseye

Author:Tom Birdseye
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781497645912
Publisher: Open Road Media

CHAPTER 15

“Crows are patient.”

—ARLO MOORE

Today is Monday, September 12. Room 11 is getting ready for SSR. Mr. Dayton says SSR stands for Sustained Silent Reading. Sustained means we don’t stop reading for twenty minutes. Silent means there is no talking—as in absolutely no talking. And Reading means that that’s what we do—read. We do SSR right after recess. Mr. Dayton says it helps to calm us down and get us used to being back in the classroom.

I think we should change it to SSE—Sustained Silent Eating—as in quietly eating bananas. I have twelve more days left to train for the big event.

Speaking of bananas, where is my banana? Oh, no. I left it out on the playground. It’s in my backpack with my Guinness Book of World Records and my leftover tuna sandwich. I must go to the rescue.

“Mr. Dayton?”

“Yes, Arlo.”

“May I go out and get my backpack?” I ask. “I left it behind the soccer goal. It has my SSR book in it.”

“OK, Arlo, but be quick about it,” he says, loosening his tie. “We start SSR in two minutes.”

“I will. Thanks, Mr. Dayton.”

Under my Guinness Book of World Records, I find the remains of my tuna fish sandwich. Partly eaten, it lies near death in the bottom of my backpack. I think I hear it calling to me. In its last dying breath, it begs to be fed to the crows. Anything but the garbage can. I’ll grant my faithful sandwich its last wish. With great ceremony, I lift it from my backpack and place it on the ground.

“Pssst … Hey, Arlo.” It’s Ben.

“Huh?”

“The crows, look at the crows.”

From the window of room 11, I can see the crows. They have seen my tuna sandwich. They swoop down from the telephone wires, one by one, gliding onto the soccer field. They walk around the sandwich, eyeing it. I think they’re not sure if it’s alive or dead. Crows are patient. They’ll make sure before they eat.

But I’m not feeling so patient. I can’t wait any longer for my banana. This is SSR, not SSE, so I’ll have to be sneaky. I’ll have to read and eat at the same time.

Slowly, I reach into my desk and gently undo the clasp on my backpack. Very carefully, I raise the flap just enough to slip my hand in. I check the room to see if anyone is watching. Mr. Dayton’s mustache is twitching as he reads. My fellow fifth-graders are reading silently for twenty sustained minutes. Now is the time for action.

Gently I probe. With the hands of a pro, I seek out the golden, delicious fruit. Bingo, I’ve struck pay dirt. Once again, I check the room for safety. Looking carefully at my Guinness Book of World Records, I slowly pull my practice banana from my desk. Success. I will dine on banana and watch the crows.

The crows have decided it’s time to eat. I agree. They’re hopping around, pulling bits and pieces of the deceased sandwich apart. I’m performing the ultimate banana feat.

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